That’s the four-word summary of Hasbro’s response to Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner’s lawsuit over a toy hamster.
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The company is seeking to dismiss the suit, which Faulkner filed over a toy hamster the company introduced to its “Littlest Pet Shop” line – named “Harris Faulkner”.
Now, the company has fired back, issuing a dismissal motion that suggests the massive toy conglomerate has retained the services of Deadpan, Bullshit, & Snark, attorneys at law, to write out the differences between the two: “Ms. Faulkner is an adult, African-American, human, female newscaster”, the statement begins, its writers preparing to enter the pantheon of legal heroes alongside Clarence Darrow and Daniel Webster.
NEWARK, N.J. (AP) – Hasbro Inc. wants a federal judge to dismiss a $5 million lawsuit filed by a Fox News anchor who says a toy hamster shares her name and resembles her. She also stated that the little hamster bears a “physical resemblance to her traditional professional appearance, in particular the tone of its complexion, the shape of its eyes, and the design of its eye makeup”, reports MSN Entertainment. If you would like to discuss another topic, look for a relevant article.
Hasbro has “requested a December 21 hearing for oral arguments on its motion”.
Without showing that Hasbro tried to appropriate the value or benefits of Faulkner’s identity as a television personality, it said, creators of fictional characters are free to use any name they choose, “whether there is only one person or a thousand others of the same name”.
“Faulkner is extremely distressed that her name has been wrongly associated with a plastic toy that is a known choking hazard that risks harming small children”, read court papers filed in federal court in New Jersey at the end of August.
As well as going after the company for the $5 million, the FNC journo sought a full accounting of how much money Hasbro had made off the hamster and wanted sales of it to cease.
Hasbro has now deemed the Harris Faulkner lawsuit “implausible” and wants the case thrown out for good.
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Faulkner’s original suit also described her as a “uniquely named, acclaimed veteran journalist and author” who “has worked for decades to establish and maintain her personal brand and laudable professional reputation”, according to NBC News.
