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Cannes opening night turns horrific for Woody Allen

“You’ve shot so many of your films here in Europe and yet in the U.S. you haven’t even been convicted of rape”, deadpanned French comedian Larent Lafitte, the master of ceremonies at the screening of Allen’s “Cafe Society”.

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Jury President of the 69th Cannes Film Festival, and jury members actresses Kirsten Dunst (R) and Vanessa Paradis pose during a photocall before the opening of the Film Festival in Cannes, France.

Stewart was joined by co-star Blake Lively and Jesse Eisenberg.

The veteran American actor and director opens the show for the third time on Wednesday with “Cafe Society”, but once again his film will not be in the main competition, whose judges are this year led by Australian director George Miller.

“I never read what you say about me or the reviews of my film”. “I think that was a hard thing to swallow in 30 seconds”. The Hollywood Reporter called it “a small fiction of amiable appeal and vibrancy”, while Variety called it “one of those Allen films that keeps talking about passion instead of actually making the audience feel it”.

Kristen Stewart, who also appears in “Cafe Society”, had a similar response when asked about working with Allen.

“I needed someone who could play an adorable little secretary from Nebraska, [and then] later in the movie you could see her in furs and jewels, and she would look just smashing and elegant”, Allen told reporters of Stewart’s casting.

“I never read anything about me, these interviews I do, anything”, he said.

Like the boss lady she is, Susan Sarandon ruled the red carpet on Cannes International Film Festival opening night.

“They think I romanticise New York City, that I romanticise the past, that I romanticise love relationships: I probably do and it probably is foolish, but I was brought up on Hollywood movies and this is what I tend to do”. He said he begins pre-production on Friday on his next movie, a comedy set in an amusement park and potentially filming on Coney Island this summer, “if I can work out the logistics of it”.

Allen’s personal life came under scrutiny when he entered into a relationship with Soon-Yi-the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and her former husband Andre Previn-when she was only 21.

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“I think any jokes about rape, homophobia or Hitler is not a joke”, Lively said on Thursday.

Woody Allen Cannes Film Festival Cafe Society Rape Jokes International Event