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Dolly Parton crushes rumors of stomach cancer

NBC’s big events can be hit or miss, but partnering with Parton sounds like a home run for the network.

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Dolly Parton has issued a statement reassuring fans that rumors of her being diagnosed with stomach cancer are “absolutely” untrue – but she has battled another health issue recently.

“It is a fact that I’d kidney stones”, she said.

The country star said she is already back at work filming at Dollywood for her new movie Coat Of Many Colours.

So in conclusion – stones are gone, boulders remain intact.

That bastion of honest reporting The National Enquirer screamed the headline “Dolly Parton’s Stomach Cancer Torture” and told the gut-wrenching story of her reclusive husband Carl never leaving her side. Instead, she says that she had kidney stones removed three weeks ago.

“So far, the [kidney stone] treatments haven’t worked”, they quoted a source as saying.

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Dollywood has added a water park and will be opening the luxurious DreamMore Resort later on this year. Dolly denied these claims and her life today is living proof that the reports were absolutely inaccurate.

Image courtesy of Webster PR