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Let’s Analyze How The Colts-Texans Crapfest Measured On The TURD Index

With 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck, 34-year-old Andre Johnson, 32-year-old Frank Gore, 34-year-old Mike Adams and 42-year-old Adam Vinatieri leading the way, the Colts once again managed to overcome the absence of 26-year-old Andrew Luck to win 27-20 in Houston Thursday night.

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“You can’t really get caught up in what people say”, Johnson said in a veiled reference to the Texans believing he was well past his prime.

Who knows, maybe his improved play had nothing to do with playing his former team and it was more to do with the offense finally starting to gel a bit.

Matt Hasselbeck, who started in place of the injured Andrew Luck, completed 18 of 29 passes for 213 yards with no interceptions.

The end of the Thursday night game between Houston and Indianapolis wasn’t just tough on the Texans, it was also tough on a few of their fans.

Coach Chuck Pagano raved about Hasselbeck.

“He was truly on his deathbed Monday/Tuesday and summoned up enough to come in Wednesday and practice”, Pagano said. “He was getting IVs and fighting a virus and the grittiest performance I’ve seen in a long, long time”. He has been far better than Mallett over the past two weeks, and Mallett’s attitude on the sideline. including leaving for the locker room before Houston kicked the extra point after Strong’s Hail Mary, won’t sit well with Bill O’Brien and the coaching staff.

Houston had ample opportunity to win the game but took a bevy of penalties, racking up 13 markers for 125 yards.

Let me tell you man, J.J. Watt deserves better.

Injuries: Foster was shaken up in the second quarter and had to be evaluated for a concussion, but not before sneaking back out on the field for a play. Hoyer’s distress toss on the last play of the first a large portion of that Strong pulled down in an ocean of Indianapolis safeguards for a 42-yard touchdown strike slice the lead to 13-10. The two-touchdown night for Johnson marked the 11 time in his illustrious career that he had multiple touchdowns in a game. Hoyer came in and played fairly well besides throwing a bad interception that basically clinched the win for the Colts. Mallet can’t play. Hoyer is an another ish backup.

The New England Patriots are known for their ability to plug and play at the running back position, but they’ve been so impressed by Dion Lewis this season, they decided to make a long-term investment in him. “I think they’re two good quarterbacks and I like both of them”. Come back to Houston!

“Yeah, never questioned that”, Mallett said. “So that was presumably the most unique thing”. Mallett appeared to struggle to catch his breath and was replaced by Brian Hoyer. He remained on the field for a couple of minutes while trainers looked at him before walking off the field.

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Brian Hoyer has his job back as Houston’s starting quarterback. I can ice this game.

Let's Analyze How The Colts-Texans Crapfest Measured On The TURD Index