“Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes”.
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The research was carried out on 468 married people with questions about their finances, style of communication and gratitude being asked.
Researchers from the University of Georgia found that when spouses feel appreciated, it directly influences how they feel about their marriage and how committed they are to it.
The new study, co-written by Ted Futris and Allen Barton, found that feelings of gratitude were the most consistent predictor of marital quality among couples of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds.
The study also found that expressions of gratitude between partners protected the likability of divorce and women’s commitment despite communication issues during conflict.
‘It highlights a practical way couples can help strengthen their marriage, particularly if they are not the most adept communicators in conflict’.
Demand/withdraw communication is defined in the study as a situation where one spouse is being critical or nagging the other spouse, and instead of confronting the situation that spouse withdraws him or herself from the situation.
Gratitude was measured by how appreciated and valued each individual felt, and if they were acknowledged when they did something nice for their significant other.
“Wife demand/husband withdraw” response is already a common interaction in couples, Barton said.
They emphasize that stressed couples are more likely to engage in negative patterns and that gratitude can disrupt this negative cycle and help couples surmount bad communication habits.
And while expressing thanks has been shown to boost one’s health, reports the Huffington Post, this shows how doing so can positively impact someone else, too. However, what distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don’t is “not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis”, Futris said. That doesn’t mean you’ll never argue with your partner (because you will, that never goes away), but it does suggest that being grateful for the things your partner does for you can lessen the damage of arguments and can make your marriage easier, even if you’re having trouble in your relationship.
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Simply saying “thank you” lowers the tension in a conversation, stops it turning into a row and gives both sides a more positive outlook of dealing with problems, it seems.
