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The Force Awakens: NSFW glow in the dark Star Wars condoms

The following article discusses events from “Darth Vader Annual” #1, on sale now.

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As Darth Vader has appeared in all previous Star Wars movies, it can not be said with certainty that he is completely out of the picture even though he does not figure in The Force Awakens. “When you get that shot, you’ve got to take it and send everyone you’ve got down after him”. Over the years, he has not played a single match without the required protective headgear due to insistence of the medical professionals. And of course Darth Vader – who nearly derailed the whole thing before we started because after seeing him in the books she said he was “too scary” – was her favorite character, and for a good half hour after it was over she was stalking around the living room doing the most adorable imitation of his raspy, machine-aided breathing you can possibly imagine.

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Vader is closely tailed by the Sith Lord’s own son, Luke Skywalker.

Director J.J. Abrams has done a great job of bringing the magic and the Force back to a series that I’ve been watching since I was a little kid. “My big climax came at the beginning of the film, with the battle in the snow, then I told the story of the people”. The Star Wars music group had a polyp detection rate of 60 percent, while the other group had a polyp detection rate of 35 percent. There you’ll be thinking about how long it’ll be before you’re able to see The Force Awakens once more – just 12 short hours.

He’s been counting down the days until the new movie opens since October 30, 2012, the day Disney bought the rights from its creator, George Lucas.

He knew what a big Star Wars fan I was and that I was dying to see the new movie, so we wrapped up our job that Sunday and off we went to the Cine Capri theater, Arizona’s biggest and best movie house.

He has so many Star Wars paperbacks, he had to stack them three-deep on the shelf. They’re worth every cent, even the candy canes I unashamedly failed to walk past in the dollar store, which were Star Wars by virtue of the clear, decaled wrapping and nothing else.

We take a look back at the franchise – from the first film back in 1977 to the recent films – and see how each movie has performed at the box office.

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If you’re going Solo, don’t forget a deck of cards or Star Wars Monopoly for bonding with fellow fans in line. We will NOT be posting any spoilers from this point forward, on into next week.

A Scam of Galactic Proportions             38 Comments              by      Elliot Williams